17 May 2012

Conscious Living: Relationships With Fear

Last month I asked you to spend some time thinking about what really inspires and motivates you. One big source of inspiration for me is you! Learning about you, what makes you tick and what are your challenges helps me grow professionally and personally. Personal connections and a little vulnerability also reminds me that we are not alone. Remembering that I have a community that supports me gives me strength I never knew I had.

I spent time last month really reflecting on motivation too and I remembered what also pushes me forward is a love for change and new opportunities and working through my personal fears. The last few years have definitely been full of changes that have been out of my control. However, recently I have been able to create some of my own – a new home and new job and it feels good to have some glimmer of control over my life. And of course with these two big changes comes fear. As much as the new motivates me, fear is inevitable. I despise fear. I dislike being afraid of meeting new people and what they may think. I highly dislike disappointing others. I really, really dislike physically not being able to conquer something and missing awesome opportunities because I didn’t try.

Photo by SweetOnVeg

I have a natural desire to always push myself and become a stronger and better person. I am grateful for some fear that keeps me safe walking in a big city and I carefully choose what fun adventurous things to do. However, what helps me conquer fear is connecting with others. I prefer to surround myself with friends who can be vulnerable, don’t always blindly think things will always work out and refuse to be prepared and can and like to openly discuss their fears.  I like optimistic people but have trouble connecting with others that are afraid to show their vulnerable side. I think they are missing out on learning a lot about themselves and their friends. Connections with other people are priceless.

As with anything, pushing through fear can be easier if you take time to really be prepared. If you signed up for your first half marathon but never ran more than 3 miles, you would follow a training program right? Not only would that training help you physically but the confidence shaped during the training process would make the days before the race exciting instead of terrifying. 

Is there someone in your life right now that you are having trouble connecting with? Do both of your egos get in the way? Try to think of ways that you might be able to be a little more vulnerable and see if you can foster new ways of connecting. What are some things that cause you great fear? Can you see some ways that this fear could push you forward instead of holding you back?

Shelly Kerry is co-owner of Lightbox SF. She is an artist, designer, and motivator. Since 2006 she has been working to build her own jewelry design business, em’s studio, and she wants to share all she’s learned. Shelly knows that building your own art or craft business can often feel lonely and overwhelming. She also understands how much of a struggle it is to balance a “day job” with a budding creative business. Read more about her here. Connect to Shelly via twitter or facebook.


  1. Ah yes, fear. My instinct is to curl up in a little ball on the couch and do nothing until it passes, but I force myself to be productive instead. I've found that if I get worked up about my business (or whatever I'm freaking out about) and it stalls my work flow, then I end up feeling even worse later. So I guess fear is like a really weird form of energy.

  2. I couldn't agree more. I also like to ask myself, "if I don't do this how will I feel tomorrow." Often helps. As well as surrounding myself with supportive and awesome fearless people.

  3. Fear is a tough topic, one we should talk more about. Thank you Shelly for bringing it up. Your post surely touched a part of my life as well. I am so proud to have you as a contributing author!

  4. Oh, that darned Fear factor! We all have it! you hit the nail on the head though... we must forge ahead no matter what! When we are inspired and energized about something our hearts want us to do and have a strong belief in that it helps minimize those sometimes crippling negative emotions...Great post! thank you!

  5. Thanks everyone! Thanks Sonya! It feels great to remember that we all are afraid of something and that none of us are alone.