When the time comes for piano playing I feel like a shy little girl, my hands start to shake and I can hear the pounding of my heart. And then the piano starts. It is a patient teacher and never gets angry but I am not sure how positive that is to me, because then I take the responsibility and start scolding myself for every mistake.
A passer-by would never think I am on a journey out of my comfort zone. What they would see is the smile on my face. I haven't looked at myself in the mirror but I know my cheeks get bright pink with excitement. And my eyes are shining. I feel so refreshed. My mind is busy with something completely unusual, an act of connecting to myself through music. My fingers, just like with knitting, are the connection between my soul and reality, between the inner and the outer.
It is a rare occurrence in my life but for once I love the imperfection, it makes me feel more alive and forgiving. It is a sign that I am growing. Because as long as you have something to learn you are on the right track.
I am trying to learn the basics. In fact, I think I am before the basics. And I am thankful to all of you who told me that an instructor is vital. I know you are right. But I also feel so challenged to fight this on my own. For as long as I can. Then I can move on to an instructor. Maybe one like Benjamin Zander.
Today, my husband sent this video to me. I love the gentle way in which he manages to feed my experimenting spirit and to expand my point of view.
"Arguably the most accessible communicator about classical music since Leonard Bernstein, Zander moves audiences with his unbridled passion and enthusiasm." Sue Fox, London Sunday TimesOn this deliberate journey out of my comfort zone my eyes are shining. Get to the end of the video and you will know exactly what I mean.
Now tell me, what makes your eyes shine?
Follow the rest of my journey: