12 April 2012

Focus on Experiences, Not Things

This post is written by contributing author Vanessa Williams. 
 
Every day we are bombarded with advertising messages to make us buy more under the premise that newer, bigger, and faster is necessary. But perhaps there’s never a more prominent time that consumer culture rears its ugly head as when we have major life events. From getting married, to buying a new home getting stuff seems to come with the territory. Sometimes this is a good thing - you do need different things for different phases of your life, but it’s easy to go overboard. 

I just announced my pregnancy over at my blog, and I’ve come to realize I don’t think there’s any other time that you are more subjected to this consumer overload than when you have your first child. Under the premise of safety and what’s best for baby we are sold on a variety of items to keep our children safe, keep them healthy, and make them smarter. We are made to feel like terrible parents if we don’t have the latest and greatest things. We’re essentially guilt-tripped into buying. My goodness, how did the human race survive without these things? 

Photo via Babyinthehat
But I had an inkling that many of the “must haves” for baby, really weren’t must haves at all. So I consulted my small army of new mommy friends about what gear they really liked and guess what? It wasn’t anything crazily expensive, or complex, but rather a few simple items that kept their babies happy, and conserved mom’s sanity. 

As I prepare for a new member of our family, I try to think of some of the things I’d like to do with my child that I did growing up. From going to the beach or the fish hatchery, to spending time in the backyard, nearly none of my favorite past times involved specific gifts. Sure, the activity of hunting for Easter eggs and baskets, or the sheer sight of presents under the Christmas tree are memories that I will treasure forever, but the specifics are foggy. I don’t remember very much what gifts I got (except for a few toy highlights); what I recall more clearly are the activity of discovery and being with family. 

This helped crystallize for me something I had apparently known for a long time - when it comes to true value it has less to do with material things, and more to do with memories made. 

jump for joy
Photo: Abraham Wallin

You can take this literally and apply it to your spending habits. What is the happiness quotient for any given spend? For example, would you prefer to do one big, expensive dinner out, or several less expensive dinners with friends? Would you be happier if you were earning less but doing what you love, or earning more at a job you hate? 

For many, experiences pay off more than objects. This may explain why industries like travel, restaurants and salons are doing just fine coming out of this recession while retail continues to slump. Younger generations are leading the way by spending more on noncredit cooking classes instead of say, a fancy car. 

What do you think? Are you happier focusing on experiences, not things? 

Vanessa Williams is the author of A simply good life where she explores how lower standard of living doesn’t mean lower quality of life. After her decision to  get off the beaten track and forge new paths she has found that living with less actually means living with more. Vanessa explores the luring and dangerous grounds of the consumerism trap and offers a solemn and wise account of her real life experiences on the quest to finding what truly matters in life. Connect to Vanessa via twitter and facebook.




13 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your pregnancy Vanessa! I hope everything goes well for you and the baby!

    You have really hit the nail on the head with this post! What better way to make us spend than by making us feel guilty? "But you have to have this. Don't you want the best for your child?" I had my first baby 22 years ago. I can't believe the amounts of things that are being sold now that we didn't have and managed fine without. The only positive aspect I can see is that hopefully people are finding what they need second hand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laurie, guilt seems to have become the main marketing tool nowadays, especially when it comes to our children. It's a shame...

      Delete
  2. Thank you Laurie - so far so good! :)

    I know! I have had several conversations with family and everyone says things like "It's amazing we're even alive!" LOL ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congratulations on the future wee one. You are so right, about experiences. When I think of the past it's the experiences that come to mind before the objects. Although I have a few "objects" that I only keep around because they remind me of a time or event everytime I look at them. Then again, that brings us back to the experience!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right, Sher. Can you imagine life without experience - be it good or bad. It gives life to simply anything.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  4. Congratulation on your soon to be new member of your family! I think you are right, I had my daughter 19 years ago and their was not even 1/2 the stuff they have available today and she grew up happy and healthy. I'm sure you will discover what is best for you and your baby, and it will be everything you need for a happy and healthy life.
    Valerie
    Everyday Inspired

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it amazing that we should declutter baby stuff even before the baby has appeared!

      Delete
  5. Congratulations. I can tell you from experience, the best thing a parent can give a child is love and a sense of security. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, Lauria. And this is exactly what's missing most of the time.

      Delete
  6. Congratulations Vanessa! A new baby is a wonderful gift in and of itself. A good friend of ours once told us that when he found out he was going to be a father of a baby boy all he could think about were the things he wanted to do with him as he grew. Funny, he never mentioned anything about what he wanted to buy him. While we do have to have " things" in this life, the things we need most are love an time with each-other!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deb, isn't it amazing how little possessions we actually need to be happy and yet the marketing world manages to fool so many of us!

      Delete
  7. This is just so true, what a great post!

    Today I’ve done a post with tips for buying fresh flowers if you’d like to take a peak.Rx

    http://sandersonsmithstory.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete