13 September 2012

The Effect of the Tight Shoe

In the comfort of late summer, sitting under the shade there is only one sore problem that bothers me - the blister on the fifth toe of my left foot. It makes me reconsider every other step I take. The pain makes me take the plunge to the cold waters of a past life I have left behind.

It was a life of considering everything else more important than my needs, long years of uncomfortable for the sake of socially acceptable; the time of shoes that didn't fit.

Photo: Creative Sugar

The pair that I am now wearing, along with many others, has been kept by my dear mother for the past 7 years. She has carefully conserved them for the short moments I come back. Her tender gesture and my bad memory led me to the bad decision of putting them on once again and activating past and long forgotten thoughts of overworking, stress and total lack of honest communication with myself.

It is both funny and disturbing how unsuspected memories spring to life when you are least prepared for them. I was supposed to have fun going back there, I was to enjoy the summer, the sun and the people of the South, not to count my steps and the years I have come to forget.

The effect of the tight shoe provokes the questions: How often do you consciously choose to wear a shoe that doesn't fit? Do you regret it or get used to it? And what does it bring along - physical or mental pain?

Exploring my thoughts I want to see where this all will take me, both physically and mentally. I could make the turn and go back to my secure old self that had it all except myself or I could simply buy new shoes and continue my new adventurous life.

What do you think I'd do?